It Took an Entire Year
Before I get into a year-in-review, let me start by saying thank you. Thank you for allowing me into your inbox, your precious moments, your thoughts, your life. Over the past year, I’ve felt the whole range of emotions from hope to fatigue to burnout to optimism to commitment. Yet, the unwavering light that led me and The Hivery through the twisty turns was YOU.
You may think that’s impossible that you who is reading this email in bed or at your kitchen table or scrolling at the airport, could impact me so deeply from one screen to another; but just knowing that you are in this sphere of kindness, creativity, and community buoys me up and keeps my fingers returning to the keyboard. Whether we’re friends who get coffee or you’ve just joined our newsletter or you’ve been part of The Hivery in some way for a day or almost a decade, knowing that you’re reading these words means a lot to me and helps me write more of them.
2022 was a year of transitions and transformations. Certainly for myself, and also for The Hivery. As I look back on the year and look forward to 2023, here are a few lessons learned:
Lesson #1 Healing takes as long as it takes. Late in 2021, I closed The Hivery spaces. It was devastating and overwhelming and emotionally draining. So, coming into 2022, I was determined to create anew. To find my identity in all of this change. To continue to create. To continue to lead.
I gave myself Q1 to do that. LOL. No, seriously, I thought I could recover and reinvent myself by end of March. I rearranged my schedule so that I didn’t have any morning meetings. I did lots of yoga. I went to the gorgeous Mill Valley Library and sat among the redwood tree-lined windows and furiously wrote my book proposal. I thought for sure that I’d (a) slay the book proposal and (b) find my new path, and (c) reinvent The Hivery and (d) rest and (e) get my mojo back.
Well, it didn’t happen in Q1. It took the whole year. It’s only in the last couple of weeks that I’ve regained that creative energy, yearned to write, had a head brimming with new ideas for The Hivery, and in general, got my groove back.
It took an entire year to regain my confidence (and that’s still a work-in-progress). An entire year to regain my creative spirit. An entire year to re-anchor my passion and commitment for empowering women to create their next chapter. Whoa. A whole year.
So, the lesson? It takes as long as it takes. And, when you don’t resist and try to rush and try to force yourself to be something you once were or something you long to be, you will make progress. Conversely, when you grasp, and force, and berate yourself for not getting out of the dark night of the soul faster, the road feels even longer and the night even darker.
Lesson #2 We’re a lot like plants when it comes to creativity. When we’re getting watered and lots of light, creativity bursts forth. But, sometimes we go into a season of dormancy. We’re like the tulip bulb in the ground. Closed up, a bit chilly, but working fiercely on taking root. Our creativity can’t be rushed. It will burst forth when it’s ready and not a moment sooner. If we dig it up and force it to the top of the soil, it won’t flower. Creativity is not your circus monkey. But, it can be cared for. We can give our creativity the nutrition it needs, the environment it needs, and the love it needs.
I had to learn this year that creativity doesn’t have an on/off switch. It’s always inside, navigating its way to your medium (voice, pen, dance, project, etc). But, it comes when it’s ready. Sometimes in ways that are meant to be expressed far and wide, and sometimes in ways that are meant only for you and your journal. We all have it inside us. We just have to remember that it’s not our employee. We don’t set creativity’s schedule, we don’t tell it how and where to work. We simply water it and keep it warm, and then when the time is right, it blossoms. I learned that it can’t be forced. And to be patient. Which were hard lessons for me :)
Lesson #3 Experimentation is fun. This was a year of throwing spaghetti at the wall. And, I liked it (a lot).
I wanted to get The Hivery community together again in-person and wanted to be playful in the ways that we did that. I love the word pop-up as it feels so spontaneous and energetic, so I experimented with pop-up coworking days at local, small businesses, like Kientz Hall. That first morning, not knowing what to expect, I got goosebumps when I heard the sound of connection. As women milled into the gorgeous restaurant, the buzz was back. If I could bottle that sound of laughter, and introductions, and interest in each other’s work and talents, I would. Ooooh, it felt so good to gather.
A couple of months later, we experimented with a daylong retreat, bringing 60+ women to the rolling hills of Petaluma, California at the stunning Asombrosa venue. We combined yoga with my beloved teacher Lesley Desaulniers, journaling, moving meditation, delicious food, labyrinth walks, hiking, and peer mentorship in a day as warm, powerful, and impactful as I could have dreamt up. I’ll never forget getting to hug Hivery member, Tiffany Booker James for the first time, after two years of connection on Zoom and email. It was a symbol of the community that had taken a different shape, but the depth was still as profound as ever.
We partnered with Club Evexia to bring The Hivery community together for our first Wellness Day. We partnered with Township to gather for a workshop and then a holiday happy hour. And, I got to get back in my absolute happy place with Jadah Sellner for her “She Builds” book launch, finally mic back in hand, getting to interview her (my favorite thing to do!) and go deep in conversation for a sold-out audience.
I also wanted The Hivery digital membership to stay true to our mission of bringing together kind, creative women entrepreneurs who are creating meaningful work. I wanted it to feel fresh and unapologetic…not like something we had to do because of a pandemic, but something connected and meaningful. We brought in incredible mentors (Susan Schroeder, Rachelle Nichols, Rachel O’Connor, Dr. Sweta Chawla, Dr. Sheree Sekou, and most recently Marissa LaValette) to share their marketing, operations, tech, leadership, motivational, and personal growth expertise. We partnered with Megan Flatt at Focus Sessions to bring Hivery members access to her 16+ productivity/coworking sessions each week. We added small groups called “Honey Pods” for members to go deeper in their accountability with each other, and I was thrilled to see members meeting up with their pods IRL and virtually, cementing friendships and furthering each other’s businesses and growth.
Personally, I committed time and resources toward my own growth, too. I went on a yoga retreat in Sayulita, Mexico, joined a writers mastermind, worked with beloved and respected coaches on my business and my heart, got a personal trainer and started weight training (thank you, Kat at Club Evexia!), and stayed true to my commitment to have one inspiring coffee/lunch with someone who elevated my creativity and soul every single week. I flipped over the handlebars of a mountain bike with my kids in Switzerland which led to walloping bruises and what I thought was a torn MCL, but is still a great story.
I went on a New England sister trip with my dear sisters, Abby and Emily, our first since we lost our sister Maggie. We cried and laughed and got our palms read. We learned that we have a penchant for leaf-peeping, and that sister trips really do mend broken hearts, as do lobster rolls.
I led a small group daylong workshop with six amazing women that lit me up and made me want to do more intimate group programs. I visited my daughter at college and helped my son finish his college applications. I cried a few times about the thought that I’ll be an empty nester this time next year. And, I got excited about a new chapter with me and my hubby, and grateful that I still have so much energy to create, work, and make an impact. I’m basically excited to be excited.
I definitely made mistakes. I forgot to respond to emails. Sent newsletters with typos. And, practiced being imperfect. I got cranky and insecure when I couldn’t figure out what to do next, started projects that I never finished, binge-watched “From Scratch” when I was supposed to be writing, and bought some unnecessary gifts for myself at the Anthropologie Black Friday sale. I was ten minutes late on more than one occasion.
I felt loss, disappointment, questions of identity, frustration, and procrastination. I also felt joy, love, awe, and gezellig (my Dutch husband, Arnaud taught me this word kinda’ like hygge, it’s a feeling of coziness).
Oh, and I almost finished that book proposal. Well, truthfully, I’ve finished two book proposals but I kept rewriting them. Kind of like how you have to bring the rug home to see if it works in your living room. I had to write the whole thing (twice, going on three times) to get really clear on what my book is about. I’ll certainly be telling you more in 2023 as I’m putting the final touches on it now, but it’s about creating next chapters, being brave like artists, and how the greatest transformation happens from the darkest hour. Side note: if you happen to know any amazing literary agents that you think I should connect with, I’d be SO grateful for your referrals.
So, now where to? Like many of you, I choose a word for the year that is my guide post. I stopped doing resolutions years ago as they felt like a punishment and an opportunity to feel inadequate. Now, I just do words, mantras, vision boards, and reminders on my phone, like this one that comes in daily:
For 2022, my word was spaciousness…and I feel like I got there. For 2023, it’s voice. I got my voice back with the support of our beautiful community and I’m excited to share it. Stay tuned for news about my upcoming podcast launching early this year (HELL YES!). And more writing. And that book. And more microphones. I’m in for all of it.
Okay, dear ones. Gotta’ run as I’m heading to the drugstore to buy poster board for my vision board. It’s a rainy day here in Mill Valley, and my kitchen table is the perfect place for a cuppa’ tea and some 2023 collaging.
I’m endlessly proud of you. For your triumphs, your mistakes, for the day you played hookey from wherever you were supposed to be and went to the movies instead. For how you’ve grown, reached out for help, learned something new, honored your talent, raised your prices, or set a boundary. I’m proud of you for letting go of burdens that were too heavy. I’m proud of you for believing that you have something so beautiful to offer this world and for the wisdom to know that you’re the only one who can do it. I’m proud of you for being brave. I’m proud of you for taking a break. I’m proud of you for making space for grief (your own and others). And, I’m proud of all the ways that you helped someone else… by feeding them, or listening to them, or buying from their business, or teaching them, or by just being there. I’m so dang proud.
And excited.
Let’s do this. 2023, here we come.
Xo,
Grace
PS Looking for a little more Hivery inspiration?
#1: If you’d like to spend New Years with some Hivery-style writing prompts, I think you’ll love our free workbook, “You’re More Ready Than You Think” with five steps (that I used, too!) for getting your confidence back. Enjoy that and other free resources here.
#2: If you’re in driving distance to Mill Valley, Ca and want a small group mastermind and accountability experience with weekly mentorship with me, join The Hivery Incubator starting late January.
#3: If you’re looking for a community of kind, creative womxn entrepreneurs and want to check out all of the new programs we’re adding for 2023 (Guest Master Classes, Monthly Marketing Lessons, Plan-Your-Month Sessions, Writing Circles, Tech Tutorials, and more!), check out The Hivery Membership.
PPS Know someone that needs to read this? Please feel free to forward!
