How signing a document taught me to say yes to myself

I'll never forget this day. It was March of 2019. I had just handed the signed lease to Rich Hillis, the Executive Director of Fort Mason at the time. The ink was still wet on the paper when I handed it over to him, the two of us standing in the lobby of what was about to become the front desk of The Hivery.

Butterflies, nerves, and relief gathered together in my gut to remind me what a big step this was. I had been working on getting The Hivery's second location into the Fort Mason Center for the Arts for over two years. 

I almost gave up many times. During that time, my sister was diagnosed with cancer, moved in with me, and then passed away. I had been trying to decide...should I or shouldn't I? Here or somewhere else. My sister assured me, even when she was very ill, that it was Fort Mason. “Look no further,” she said, “It’s perfect.”

The deal fell apart twice. Once because they changed their mind, and once when I did. 

I presented to the board many, many times. 

So, on this day in this picture, when I walked into this building with a signed lease in my purse, I knew that it was time to leap. To trust the excitement in my belly, the faith in my heart, the belief that great things can be made when we are brave enough to take one more step forward. 

I handed him that signed lease. And then hustled away so he wouldn't see the tears of emotion. I had done it. I played big. I set the wheels in motion for a bigger dream. A bigger impact. A step closer to making art out of space and community.

I had no idea what the world would have in store. Not a clue that I would have to close three months after we opened. Not an inkling that I STILL wouldn't know how things would pan out here in early 2021. 

But, the most important part? I don't regret it. Not for a second. Not in the least. I took bold action and I built something and I felt ALIVE each step of the way. Was it painful? Yes. Was it scary? Yes. But, did I feel like I was stepping fully into my life? Well, hell yes. 

What about you? What will you build? How will you step fully in? What would you do even without knowing the outcome? Reply in the comments below what bold action you are going to take.